i feel like the goal of yoga is to become more peaceful, more in tune with your own light, more self-aware and in turn to become more peaceful in the way you engage with others (and the world) around you. sometimes it is easy to be peaceful, harmonious, happy with the world around us – when things are going well. but we are only human. we fall off the wagon sometimes. we snap, we flinch, we react to situations with sharp minds and quick tongues rather than taking a breath to be present in this moment, this moment that will never occur again. we have choices to make in how we react to situations every single day of our lives and how we react to these situations determines how we will be remembered in this world. sometimes, as we are only human, we react in ways that are not showing our best light. in ways that are snappy, unnecessary, reactive. tonight for no reason, i have been feeling irritable. for no reason i have felt irritable and i have let myself become reactionary to situations, to words, to events. and now i sit with the irritability inside me, festering. i have two choices in this – i can, as is human, let this feeling, in my house, in my mind, in my heart, in the space between me and my husband, or – I can choose to let it go.
it sounds like an easy choice to make. because of course who would choose to sit with these feelings when one can simply let them go. be free of them, disengage with them, lighten your own load. but what makes letting go so difficult, is the human ego – because ‘letting go’ is saying, i have over-reacted, i have become irritable when i shouldn’t have, i have not been the best version of myself. letting go of the feeling, is letting go of the ego. letting go of the ego is letting go of pride. to be big enough to be small in that moment of letting go, to be humbled – by your own self.
my husband is out getting some dinner for us, and in this moment, I am choosing to take three deep breaths and to let this feeling go, to let go of everything in this day that has passed and every irritable feeling that is sitting with me. because it is my choice to let those feelings take over this mind and this heart and it is my choice to let them go. to let them go completely, not to cling onto the remnants of them for my ego’s sake, but to truly breathe out and let go. because why wouldn’t i?